You think that this is about jealousy? No, I couldn't, because you either - shut down or, make fun of me, or make it all my fault.

[ But maybe a little more than that he didn't want to start the conversation that he was sure would inevitably end in yeah, i'm done with you, going to go chill with people who can actually keep up with me or something more stinging, shitty self esteem can do that. ] I've watched you succeed and I've only ever, been happy for you, and waited for you to come home.